And Then There Were Two
My worst fears have come to life...my special Moli has succumbed to the laminitis that she has so valiantly fought for over two years. My heart is heavy today, broken by the loss, but full of comforting memories at the same time.
My renewed hope that we may have found an answer to providing some recovery was changed once again to disappointment on Sunday, September 12. Moli looked comfortable, and was moving well when I released her from the small pen where she gets the portion of her meal that is not to be shared with the others. She stepped out quickly, excited (as always) to be moving on to the second course...little piles of hay dispersed around the 2.5 acre turn out, the twice daily event that all three of my horses look forward to - like a group of excited children being released for an Easter Egg Hunt. A couple hours later I glanced out my kitchen window to see her hobbling over to the water trough and my heart sank. Her movement was worse than I have ever seen it and my first thought was that she had somehow injured her back.
I checked her over carefully and could find no swelling, no heat from her feet, legs or back. I decided to separate her from the others and see if rest would help...or if something obvious would begin to show itself over a few hours. On Monday morning she was still sore, but no worse. Monday afternoon I called the vet and he agreed to work me into Tuesday's already stuffed schedule. I arrived as soon as they returned from lunch (1:30) and he was taking new radiographs of her feet by 2:30. They showed that the coffin bone in the left front was badly rotated and the one in the right front pointed straight down and was close to breaking through the sole. She was due for a new trim and a reset of her Epona shoes - so I stayed there and did the trim while she was still sedated and could stand to pick up a foot for me to work on. I had brought along a pair of Easyboots to use - and all my trimming tools just in case. The trim took a couple hours because she couldn't stand on three legs for long, but when I was done she was more comfortable.
I noticed however, that there had been NO growth at all on any part of the right front hoof. NONE - her last trim had been five weeks...there was growth on both hind legs, and the front left, why not the front right? I the vet what he would do...he reminded me that a specialist in the lameness/laminitis field had just relocated to an area close by, and I explained that she had already seen Moli and told me there was nothing I could do. So I loaded Moli back into the trailer and headed home, determined to get online right away, and maybe check one more resource. But there would be little sleep for me that night, as I realized that with the coffin bone now penetrating the sole...and no new hoof growth there was next to no hope of winning the battle. Moli was now in alot of pain and I had to think of her too. She could live on pain meds for awhile, but that would kill her slowly as none of them are safe for long-term use.
Wednesday morning when I walked out, she was pretty much standing on her hind legs, with her fronts stretched out in front of her - when she saw me, she whinnied as usual and tried to move - the movement was so labored and the pain so obvious that it was like flipping a switch in my brain. As much as I don't want to be without her - I can't stand to see her in that kind of pain ever again and so I decided that she had fought long enough. I have never had to make this decision for a horse - it is definitely the hardest thing I have ever done. Calls were made to arrange for someone to come out and dig her grave, and for the vet to come. She had more bute given than is recommended, but she had a good day with less pain. I came home after work and shared her favorite time...dinner. I sat on the side of her big feed trough and fed her carrots and apples in between bites of hay - she was so excited, carrots and apples were her favorite treats and ones she had not been allowed to enjoy since the laminitis had started. Her eyes were bright and curious as she grabbed a bite of hay and then nugged me softly and playfully for another bite of carrot. I laughed at her when she slurped the juice from the apple as she chewed it.
I hope she can rest in peace and that I have done everything right by her. She taught me so much about horses, love and partnership.
I found the article below that explains laminitis (without the emotions) it doesn't get real technical, but it does cover what owners can expect not to expect when battling this disease.
Living with the Hoof Disease Founder
My renewed hope that we may have found an answer to providing some recovery was changed once again to disappointment on Sunday, September 12. Moli looked comfortable, and was moving well when I released her from the small pen where she gets the portion of her meal that is not to be shared with the others. She stepped out quickly, excited (as always) to be moving on to the second course...little piles of hay dispersed around the 2.5 acre turn out, the twice daily event that all three of my horses look forward to - like a group of excited children being released for an Easter Egg Hunt. A couple hours later I glanced out my kitchen window to see her hobbling over to the water trough and my heart sank. Her movement was worse than I have ever seen it and my first thought was that she had somehow injured her back.
I checked her over carefully and could find no swelling, no heat from her feet, legs or back. I decided to separate her from the others and see if rest would help...or if something obvious would begin to show itself over a few hours. On Monday morning she was still sore, but no worse. Monday afternoon I called the vet and he agreed to work me into Tuesday's already stuffed schedule. I arrived as soon as they returned from lunch (1:30) and he was taking new radiographs of her feet by 2:30. They showed that the coffin bone in the left front was badly rotated and the one in the right front pointed straight down and was close to breaking through the sole. She was due for a new trim and a reset of her Epona shoes - so I stayed there and did the trim while she was still sedated and could stand to pick up a foot for me to work on. I had brought along a pair of Easyboots to use - and all my trimming tools just in case. The trim took a couple hours because she couldn't stand on three legs for long, but when I was done she was more comfortable.
I noticed however, that there had been NO growth at all on any part of the right front hoof. NONE - her last trim had been five weeks...there was growth on both hind legs, and the front left, why not the front right? I the vet what he would do...he reminded me that a specialist in the lameness/laminitis field had just relocated to an area close by, and I explained that she had already seen Moli and told me there was nothing I could do. So I loaded Moli back into the trailer and headed home, determined to get online right away, and maybe check one more resource. But there would be little sleep for me that night, as I realized that with the coffin bone now penetrating the sole...and no new hoof growth there was next to no hope of winning the battle. Moli was now in alot of pain and I had to think of her too. She could live on pain meds for awhile, but that would kill her slowly as none of them are safe for long-term use.
Wednesday morning when I walked out, she was pretty much standing on her hind legs, with her fronts stretched out in front of her - when she saw me, she whinnied as usual and tried to move - the movement was so labored and the pain so obvious that it was like flipping a switch in my brain. As much as I don't want to be without her - I can't stand to see her in that kind of pain ever again and so I decided that she had fought long enough. I have never had to make this decision for a horse - it is definitely the hardest thing I have ever done. Calls were made to arrange for someone to come out and dig her grave, and for the vet to come. She had more bute given than is recommended, but she had a good day with less pain. I came home after work and shared her favorite time...dinner. I sat on the side of her big feed trough and fed her carrots and apples in between bites of hay - she was so excited, carrots and apples were her favorite treats and ones she had not been allowed to enjoy since the laminitis had started. Her eyes were bright and curious as she grabbed a bite of hay and then nugged me softly and playfully for another bite of carrot. I laughed at her when she slurped the juice from the apple as she chewed it.
 |
| Moli the year I got her - 1998, she was 4 |
I hope she can rest in peace and that I have done everything right by her. She taught me so much about horses, love and partnership.
I found the article below that explains laminitis (without the emotions) it doesn't get real technical, but it does cover what owners can expect not to expect when battling this disease.
Living with the Hoof Disease Founder
Comments
Post a Comment